"and pleasure...no pleasure?"

i felt it was time to play. most of my thoughts, time and energy had gone into creative effort. and this restriction of the love drive, the headshrinkers will tell you, is the greatest urge one really has. when one sublimates the sex drive into creative work, it puts a person in high gear, mentally. i admit it. but it is against my nature to bottle up the biological plans of pleasure for any length of time. i hope i don't sound as if i have discovered the secret salve that soothes the universe, but i do want to add my small footnote on the subject.

- mae west

this past week has been all about the idea of pleasure. scripts & books come into my life at interesting times in my life...when i need to learn something from them or have an aspect of my personality or shadow personality illuminated. funny that this week i worked on a script in ela's "directing actors" class by a wonderful writer named wendy sax. the scene was about two 50-something yr olds who meet and are attracted to each other, but are also guarded because they've been down the road of love and been burned by either illness then death or heartbreak and abandonment...the inevitables of life. the two go through the initial push & pull of when you first meet a new love interest. the man hasn't had the experience of pleasure in ages, and the woman challenges herself to see if she can get him to feel any sort of pleasure. she succeeds. by the end of the scene, they decide to take a chance on each other and once again, the hope of love.

wendy gifted me with a book called "mama gena's school of womanly arts" which is all about a woman finding & creating her own pleasure. not waiting for the perfect time, location, or man to swoop in with this delectable delight. i'm craving more pleasure and fun in my life but between financial and work (hallelujah!) obligations, i'm usually left with sore pinkie toes, a checklist of things to accomplish, and exhaustion that begs me to rest my head on my pillow for 30 mins which turns into deep slumber. pleasure hasn't seemed to make it's way high on the list...well up until this weekend that is. according to mama gena (the purveyor of pleasure in the book), "the path to pleasure...begins with a decision, a simple decision that each of us must make: we merely must acknowledge that what we have is good now. not 'life will be good, if only...' not ' life would have been good, except...' no....it is good now." alot of my friends are traveling and bbq'ing this holiday weekend. i'll be working, but that doesn't mean i can't create a little pleasure for myself. decision made.

let me know in the comments section how you plan to create pleasure for yourself this memorial day weekend...

*source: mama gena's school of womanly arts, by regena thomashauer

the crown chakra

faith has to do with 'yes.' yes, i can change, we can change, this situation can change. having faith grounds us back into the first chakra, where we manifest these goals to change ourselves, our community, and our world. the top chakra completes the center line of energy.

#enlightenment

*source: the lucid body, by fay simpson

scandal is scandalouussss...

cast of abc's scandal

kerry washington is an amazing actress. she's smart, beautiful, expressive and a little quirky. she's steadily creating her own lane and career path first being super active in barack obama's campaign for presidency in 2008 and now 4 years later making her mark on the hill in tv land as olivia pope, crisis manager. her character is inspired by real life political communications specialist, judy smith. 

it's inspiring to see a young black actress in the lead role on one of the major television networks. in reading more about kerry's character on the shonda rhimes-created show scandal, i learned that 38 years prior aaron spelling produced a show called get christie love featuring actress teresa graves as an undercover detective who fights crime.* adding big bad mothaz to my netflix queue...more on this at another time...

in the meantime, i'm excited for next week's episode #4 of scandal. 

olivia pope, episode #3: hell hath no fury

you're afraid that it was nothing. that he's forgotten it already. tossed you like yesterday's paper and moved on without another thought. and if he's forgotten, it's almost as if it never happened.

that what you had with him wasn't real. and that makes you feel completely and utterly alone.

but i haven't forgotten.

i know what happened, 

i know it was real.

*source: http://blogs.indiewire.com/shadowandact/38-years-before-olivia-pope-there-was-christie-love#

pensive dichotomy

the craft...you're required to be super sensitive, it's your job. the business...don't take anything personally. one order of schizophrenia & a side order of whoop *ss coming right up. good morning!

hello spring!

today marks the 1st day of spring. happy happy joy joy! i love springtime in the city because well it's just gorgeous. people flock to central park or other mounds of grass to take in the beautiful weather, the shining sun, and the best that new york city has to offer...dining al fresco & long walks are among my favs. we file out of our less than average-size apartments and experience expansion and freedom.

that's just one reason to welcome spring.

yet another reason is the idea of shedding the old and starting anew. leaving behind old baggage and opening up to new, fresh experiences. the season commands renewal and revival, exuberance and excitement.

i spent the middle of my day enjoying the sun with my friend kate s taking a leisurely stroll through central park. as we walked and talked, we periodically stopped for a moment to enjoy our immediate surroundings. it got me to thinking...by tomorrow, our time together will be stored away as history, a fond memory that we'll reflect upon in the following years.

"the journey IS the destination."

we have so many dreams, goals, visions for what we want our lives to look and feel like. sometimes we forget to live life right here and now, as it is. i'm terribly guilty of this. in the last year, my life has been a series of less than great decisions that have cost me dearly. i'm in major repair mode, so this easily lends itself to living in a far out future where all my problems are solved and the dust has cleared. but this is really no way to live. i find myself discounting my life these days because it doesn't look and feel good enough. it was during our walk that i was reminded one simple truth...there's really no tomorrow. there's only today. this is hard to digest when you desire something or someone that is not within your grasp. we live in the past through our memories, regrets and good times or in some unknown future that isn't guaranteed to us.

i wish for you and myself to really live each day as it comes this spring, relishing every moment. not sharing it's precious space with yesterday or tomorrow. just today.

just a day (or tonight) at the theatre

yesterday i was blessed with the opportunity to see the broadway play "stick fly." i say blessed because this play opened back in december and it was one of those things i placed on my "to do" list, but i felt like i had a million other things that needed to be prioritized first. thank god i came to my senses (after much word of mouth from friends and buzz on twitter) and saw this play.


everyone needs to see this play...as in everyone. talk about cramming in topics ranging from FAMILY, love relationships, culture, economic status, race, interracial dynamics, etc into 2 1/2 hours of broadway magic. this play was nothing short of fascinating. to end my pitch, you still have 1 opportunity to catch this play...tonight at 7:30pm. call telecharge 212-239-6200. if you are strapped for funds, try to scrap together $40 for a rush tix at the box office. it will be one of the best investments you make. and here's why...


one of the main reasons we go to the theatre is to take a break from our own lives filled with responsibilities, expectations, obligations (the list goes on and on and on). we want to be reminded of who were are. daily life usually requires that we stifle our real emotions in order to remain sane and civil...or atleast appear to be. well the job of an artist is to cook our emotions into a nice simmer so that they rest right on the surface...then be able to simultaneously access and express them...so that everyone else can too feel their own release, see a bit of themselves in the process, and understand that at the end of the day what connects us all is our humanity. stick fly did that in a way for me that helped me tap into an area of my life that i tend to ignore or place on the back burner.

production still from the show

"the first man who loves you is supposed to be your father. you were supposed to love me first. and best." - cheryl, stick fly


upon hearing the uber-talented actress condola rashad recite that line, my heart center immediately opened. whoa. a surge of energy warmed up in my heart and released itself right then and there. 


you see we accumulate years and years of experience in the form of pain, disappointment, tragedy that if not fully released or expressed, these emotions set up shop and ground down firmly into our bodies leaving us numb, resentful, confused, forgetful, fretful. thankfully, my actor and yoga training help me deal with these emotions but some topics, i.e. my relationship with my father, can find a way to bury deep into my psyche and physical matter and hide away until that is...an experience in the present moment triggers a reflex from the past or i witness a piece of art that tells me it's okay to  acknowledge and move through the pain. 


please go to the theatre. release, purge, express, feel.
and if you're so lucky and able to do so, go see stick fly tonight. it will help you.


thank you's to the writer: lydia diamond, the director: kenny leon, the producers: alicia keys and reuben cannon and last, but certainly not least, the actors: ruben santiago-hudson, mekhi phifer, dule hill, tracie thoms, rosie benton, and condola rashad. 


*image sources: www.stickflybroadway.com

sunday musings

dreams
thoughts
the decision
action
faith
alignment
manifestation